Pick-Up Lines For The 21st And A Halfth Century
There comes a time in every man’s life when he wants to bonerise some chick with his bone. Of course, going out to the club and trying to talk to girls can prove embarrassing. Every guy has asked himself questions like “How can I impress the girl?”, and “What can I say to get her to like me?” Of course, if you’re a big playa like me with girls jumping on your dick left, right and sideways (and obliquely), you know those questions are mostly for fagosexuals, and the rest are for homoerotic dumbasses. Shit’s for fags bro. However, I feel it’s my duty to help you fagosexuals out, throw you a boner every now and then, and by boner, I mean poon. Of course there’s the classic lines that you’ve all heard a million times before. And those can work (though they probably won’t), but why not stick out from the crowd with
Pick-Up Lines For The 21st And A Halfth CENTURY
Classic line: “Girl you tired? Cos you been running through my head all night!”
21st Century line: “Girl you tired? Cos I just spiked your drink!”
Classic line: “Nice dress but I think it’d look better on my bedroom floor.”
21st Century line: “Nice dress, but I think it’d look better with a scarf from louis vuitton. Let’s go shopping!”
Classic line:“Do you believe in love at first sight? Should I walk past again?”
21st Century line: “Do you believe in love at first sight… ‘cos you were ugly at the start of the night and now look okay.”
21st Century line: “Do you believe in love at first sight? Stalking is a kind of love right?”
Classic line:
“What’s that smell?”
“Huh?”
“I can smell something – what is it?”
“I don’t know…”
“It must be you… ‘cos you’re the shit!”
21st Century line:
“What’s that smell?”
“Huh?”
“You smell funny.”
21st Century line:
“What’s that smell?”
“Huh?”
“Lay off the shit sandwiches sweetheart.”
21st Century line:
“What’s that smell?”
“Huh?”
“I can smell something. what is it?”
“I don’t know…”
“Oh wait… it’s my new eau de toilette, which is a french way of saying, toilet water”
I’m gonna be all over you like a Frenchman in a yoghurt factory!
This is a classic line to use to play to a girl’s vanity, after you’ve spent a little time getting to know her.
Classic line:
“Hey, were you ever overweight in high school?”
“No… why…?”
“It’s just you have this great fat girl personality.”
“Really?? Thanks!”
It really makes them know how much you care. Seriously, girls love that crap. But what they would really love even more is this:
21st Century line:
“Hey, were you ever a fat girl in high school?”
“No… why?”
“Because you’ve got cellulite.”
21st Century line:
“Hey, were you ever a fat girl in high school?”
“No… why?”
“So you let yourself go a bit I see…”
21st Century line:
“Hey , were you ever a fat girl in high school?”
“No… why?”
“‘Cos I wanted to fuck you and fantasise about how fat you looked in your school uniform.”
(Hm. Maybe I should try that one)
Or why not use the “direct method”:
21st Century line:
“Hey , were you ever a fat girl in high school?”
“no.. why?”
“Cos you’re fucking fat.”
But then there’s always the “Keep It Simple” approach. Be honest and down-to-earth with those hot babes that you want to get into’s pants.
Classic line: “Hey, my name’s Kurt.”
21st Century line: “Hey, my name’s Mr. Doodoo brains. I have doodoo for brains.”
21st Century line: “Hey, my name’s Kurtis….. Kurtis Blow, and I want you to know, that these are the breaks!….” and so on
21st Century line: “Hey, my name’s Frodo. I’m trying to find a giant volcano to stick my ring in. Any takers?”
What does that even mean???
or
21st Century line: “Hey, my name’s Luke and I’m a cocksucker.”
Classic line:
“Did it hurt?”
“Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from heaven?”
21st Century line:
“Did it hurt?”
“Huh?”
“Oh oops! I forgot.” *pinches her belly*
“Did THAT hurt?”
21st Century line:
“Did it hurt?”
“What, when i fell from heaven?”
“No, you dumb bitch. I saw you fall off your stool just now.”
Classic line:
“if you were a pirate … would you want your parrot to be on this side…” *puts arm around her* “or this side?”
21st Century line:
“if you were a pirate… you’d probably be pretty ugly”
Classic line:
“If you were a booger… I’d pick you”
21st Century line:
“If you were a booger… ah fuck it, just suck my dick.”
Classic line:
Is that a mirror in your pants? ‘Cos I can see myself in them.
21st Century line:
Is that a mirror in your pants? ‘Cos I can see myself in them. I’m a transvestite.
I’m an astronaut… and my next trip is to Your Anus!
Classic line:
“Yo! You got a boyfriend!?”
“Yes…”
“Do you want another one?!”
21st Century line:
“Yo! Do you have a boyfriend?!”
“Yes…”
“Oh… never mind then.”
She never saw it comin’!
As we were writing this article, some girl messaged Luke to say:
Classic line: “You look like a cross between James Blunt and Jeff Buckley”
She would have done better to say:
21st Century line:“You look like a cross between peewee herman and herman munster”
Or in my case:
21st Century line: “You look like a cross between Gotye and the guy from Road Trip.”
+
=
Personally, I don’t see the resemblance.
Classic line: “When they wrote the alphabet, they should have put U and I together.”
21st Century line: “When they wrote the alphabet, they should have put F A R and T together. That would have made me laugh really hard in kindergarten.”
Classic line: “If you were a laser you’d be set to stunning.”
21st Century line: “If you were a laser, I’d run for the hills… Damn crazy woman running around being a
laser…”
Classic line: “What’s your sign?”
21st Century line: “What’s your bra size?”
21st Century line: “What’s your blood type? Just in case you need a transfusion after I fuck you too hard.”
And last but not least, we leave you with a philosophical type question.
Classic line: “Are you from Tennessee? Cos you’re the only ten I see?”
21st Century line: “Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cos i heard they have the lowest average IQ per capita there. By the way, what’s a capita?”
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Comments (4)
damn… it’s all true!
[Reply]
Aquarius, 12E, and use lube you fuckers!
[Reply]
what, flo, and ruin our friendship?
[Reply]
friendship? it was ruined from the start….
[Reply]