Trouble In A Bubble.

Hollywood: Where Dreams Are Made, and Losers Get Laid

I don’t get movies like “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. For those of you that haven’t seen it, basically the premise of the movie is that a boring fat chode with a small penis can attract TV stars and gorgeous Latin babes. One beautiful woman leaves you and you go to Hawaii and approach a woman with a pick up line like:

“Waaaah! Why doesn’t anyone love me?? I’m a fat loser who likes to make love slow and I wear Superman undies.”

The girl gets all juicy and Supermans onto his crotch.

I wish I’d seen this movie five years ago when I was a chode so I could have taken tips on how to pick up. Then get crushed under the weight of a million rejections, only to emerge from the flames like a phoenix except instead of having a giant flame out my butt, I’d have a giant hard-on. Not out of my butt though.

In the movie, the girl leaves the guy and he’s like boohoo wah wah. No shit man. How did you think you were gonna keep that beauty? By sheer lack of willpower? By the power of Gayskull?

Reminds me of these guys called True Forced Loneliness on the internet. Maybe some of you haven’t heard of them… Probably all of you haven’t heard of them. They’re a bunch of guys who get together on the Internet and have circle jerks via webcam and cry about how much pussy they’re not getting. I won’t post a link to it, because if you watch it, the next time you go to buy jocks you’ll have to shop in the little girl’s section.

Though let’s be honest the movie was pretty funny, none of this pansy rom com shit.  Just what the world needed… a rom com with balls.  Still it’s no “Sin City”.  When “Sin City” came out the tag line should have been “Like a punch in the face” but when you go up to the poster, it’s not just a regular poster, it has an automatic face-puncher in it.  Too bad buttmonkey.

This is Kurt signing off and saying Fuck off chodeburger.

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