REPOST OR A GUY WILL TURKEY SLAP YOU IN THE NIGHT.
We guys don’t give a shit if you talk to other guys.
We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys.
But when you’re sitting next to us,
and some random guy walks into the room,
and you jump up and tackle him,
without even introducing us,
We still don’t give a shit.
‘Cos we know who’ll be tappin that ass later.
We don’t care if a guy calls or texts you,
but at two in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
Except a spitroast. Invite him over already, you sexy slut.
Also, when we tell you you’re pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don’t tell us we’re wrong.
Shut your cakehole.
You’re just there to look pretty, biatch.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
(*NEWSFLASH* – STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING PRESS:
RANDOM GUY ON MYSPACE DECLARES SEXIEST THING ABOUT A GIRL IS CONFIDENCE)
Don’t be mad when we hold the door open.
Take advantage of the mood we’re in.
Sting us for everything we’ve got.
Let us pay for you! Don’t “feel bad”. We enjoy doing it.
It’s expected.
Trust me – I’ll get my money’s worth when my cum’s on your face.
Smile and say “Thank you”.
Kiss us when no one’s watching…
After you’ve used mouthwash.
You don’t have to get dressed up for us.
If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to.
Wear the shortest skirt you have. Put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are, not what you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she’s butt naked bending over, and making her pussy do a fart sound.
Or wearing my T-shirt and boxers.
With her best dress on… my bedroom floor.
With sex hair.
Not all dolled up, like a hooker on Gray Street.
Don’t take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
But when I called you “my little whore,” I wasn’t joking.
Don’t get angry at us easily.
We all know who would win that fight. I’m probably a foot taller than you, and a man.
Actually, I’m definitely a man. I have testes.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
That shit’s for fags.
Don’t talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brat Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
As a general rule, don’t talk at all.
It’s boring, and we don’t care. You have girlfriends for that.
Girlfriends that you make out with… while someone IS watching. (i.e. me)
Also, whatever happened to the word “cuntface”?
I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with “Hey cuntface!” instead of “Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy” or whatever else you can think of.
Then I’d probably slap her one… but it’d still be pretty funny.
On the other hand I’m not saying I wouldn’t like it either 
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren’t being treated right by a guy, don’t wait for him to change!!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
The respect to keep you in line when you need it.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
You know I wouldn’t slap you if I didn’t care baby.
Someone who will stop what they’re doing just to look you in the eyes and say “I love you”… and actually mean it.
Give the real men a chance. Tell fag boy to hit the pavement ‘cos daddy’s comin’ home and he’s got a brand new bag.
Which means you, you old bag.
Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it’s surprisingly accurate.
-Every Guy who isn’t a jerk will agree with this,
(If you don’t I break your nose)
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.
Advice:
- Holding hands
Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of
times.
- Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder.
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her. Also remember the old popcorn dick routine
- Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and BUKKAKE TIMEEEEEEEEEE!
That’s what love is all about.
- Laying below the stars
Girls : When you’re both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with her, slide your hand up her shirt and cup her breast.
It’ll make you happy.
By 12 a.m. tonight your one true love will realize how much they want you, and probably four other guys at the same time. She’ll probably invite you over… She’ll say it’s a party or something. You get there and there’s no one there but you and her. That’s when the midgets come out of the closet. Oh yes, the midgets. That’s when the party really starts, if you know what I mean.
-Girls repost as: Written By A Guy/Genius
-Guys post as: Girls Need To Realize… That My Pimp Hand Is Way Strong
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I would just like to add, that if a girl is in a club and i am talking to you. just remember i might not be the best looking guy in there. BUT IM THE ONLY ONE TALKING TO YOU, YOU STUPID SLUT.
i’d just like to say, that if a girl is in a club and i’m talking to her, just remember i might not be the best looking guy in there, but what i lack in good looks, i make up for in genital warts
niga nice mark thought ur website was the funniest shit and so does me!
I think I touched one of Kurt’s genital warts once. It tasted like mayonnaise and eggplant in tahiti sauce. it looked pretty good too..
wtf is tahiti sauce. don’t put that shit on my dick