Trouble In A Bubble.

Amityville – Unprotected Sex, Pregnancy And Post-teen Drama

Today I found out that a girl I used to sleep with is pregnant.

“To who?”

“Her boyfriend… maybe. She told me that she cheated on him, within a month of going out with him. Says she gets bored.”

My heart started to race a little. This was the first and only girl I’d ever fucked without a condom. Stupid. At least I’m clean. We’d had sex about six times… The last time she jumped on top of me while I had a boner and rode the baloney pony. I blew a load inside her which dripped out as she showed me to the door later.

“Fuck… I hope it’s not mine… How long has she been seeing this guy?”

“About six months.”

Then it suddenly occurred to me, I hadn’t touched her or even seen her in about nine or ten months. Of course it wasn’t mine. I relaxed into my un-fatherhood.

I told you a little about how I met Amity before. We worked together.

The first night I got together with her… It was kind of funny. Amity had been trained by the HR guy at work, Lenny. I don’t think Lenny had ever made a sales call in his life, so getting training off him is funny to begin with… When the guys got out on the floor, Archer would constantly be having to counsel them. They would say “But Lenny said -”

“Lenny lied to you. Lenny was wrong. Now listen to me.”

Amity was intimidated by Archer.

I’d had similar experience with my training, though I wasn’t trained by Lenny, and the disparity between what the trainer thinks, and what goes on in the real world, wasn’t so extreme. Not to say that Lenny was incompetent, because he wasn’t. It’s just the absurd nature of bureaucracy that his syllabus forced him to teach things that were very impractical.

Now the thing about Lenny… I remember the first time I had a conversation with him. He mentioned how he used to be a go-go dancer at a club in Melbourne.

“Really? What club?” I said, because I thought I might know it.

He said the purple room or the purple shaft or something. I’d never heard of it. He had an earring in his right ear. I thought, I wonder if he’s gay – oh well who cares.

All through Amity’s training, Lenny was telling stories about his fiancee Alice – how they’d just moved in together, how they were going to get married whenever, trouble in paradise, etc.

Then at the end of the week he was talking to Amity alone, and mentioned he was gay.

“Does Alice know?”

“Yes… but it’s not Alice. His name is Alan.”

When she told me that, I said “I don’t understand… Why would he go to all that trouble of telling such an elaborate story about his fiancee, only to dash it down later? Like if he didn’t want to talk about his personal life, really he could have just not said anything.” Hail Eris.

Now, Amity has very large E cup breasts. They’re good fun. Actually, I was pretty surprised to see them – I mean her – at the Clubhouse the night I met her, considering she’d been at work all week and I hadn’t noticed her at all… I’m a breast man.

Actually, the one I’d noticed at work was Johanna. Her breasts weren’t as big, but she was a redhead, and very sweet looking. Redheads are rare, and hot redheads are even rarer. However, I went home with Amity because she was the first one to invite me to touch her breasts.

Yes… the breasts. They kind of had a life of their own. So huge, they could not be contained by ordinary woolen sweaters or crossblend T-shirts. However she wore her clothes, they would always slip, and HUZZAH! Cleavage! Which of course goes against the dress code at the call centre. Lenny would see this (funny how he noticed her cleavage better than I did), walk up and say:

“Amity. Your boobs are great. But cover them up at work,” and pull up her shirt.

The Monday after I met her, I was walking up High Street to go to work. I saw Johanna and Angel driving off. I waved. Funny time to be driving off when you’re just about to start your shift.

When Amity came into work that day, she got called over to Romana’s desk.

Romana Stackpoole… My first impression of her was positive. I remember she complimented me on my white shirt that has a bunch of threads hanging off it. The one my parents love to say it looks like it’s falling apart.

Romana gave the whole training group a speech as the first part of the interview. She was saying how wonderful we all are, and that this environment isn’t the kind of place where someone mediocre could slip into the cracks and hope not to be noticed. This workplace has a culture of excellence. I thought it sounded really good, and she seemed really nice and positive, and that I would enjoy working there very much.

She slipped up a bit when she said “I hope you all have your resumés with you – I mean of course you all should have, because this is a proper job interview.” Of course… but it’s a proper interview for a telemarketing position – who are you trying to fool? I didn’t have my resumé on me… I’d already submitted it online, so I was confused.

Anyway, Romana turned out to be a redheaded fire-breathing dragon queen. A hardcore 50 year old dyke.

Once she threatened to fire me for picking my nose. I thought that was a bit flippant. It reminded me of the scene in Goodfellas. You got out of line, you got whacked. Sometimes, even if people didn’t get out of line, they got whacked. Hits became a habit. Firing people was a normal thing. It was no big deal. One of the team leaders would walk around with termination papers in her hand constantly… just in case she needed them.

Anyway, so Amity sat down at Romana’s desk.

She was being interrogated by the dragon queen.

“Amity, you’re probably wondering why I called you over to my desk.”

Amity started scratching her wrists and nodded timidly.

“I just want to ask you one question: what happened on Friday night?”

“Uh… what do you mean?”

Maybe she thought she’d broken some corporate law by getting it on with me. She could have had any number of reasons for acting guilty. Getting drunk and going home with some guy… No, that probably wouldn’t make her guilty. But she had been taking an illicit drug for the first time on Friday.

“Just tell us what happened on Friday night.”

“I … don’t know what you mean.”

Diana was there too, so they did a little good cop/bad cop.

“Listen, Amity… we don’t want to get you stressed or anything. The sooner you tell us what happened, the sooner we can forget about this whole thing.”

Romana would have even made me feel guilty… and I hadn’t done anything. Well maybe not me, but anyone else.

“Well… I don’t really know… I was very drunk on Friday.”

It turned out that what had happened… some of the girls who were in Amity’s training group, her friends – Angel, Johanna. They’d started writing out a plan to try to get Lenny fired, because he was gay. At least, this was what Amity told me later. I didn’t really understand and I suspect that she didn’t tell me the whole story. I suppose it was one of those things where bitchy little girls conspire to take a person down, like in high school. Amity told me she wasn’t involved, and I never found out for sure if she was, however, she knew all about it.

I stopped seeing Amity. Johanna added me on facebook. I got her phone number in a few messages, and called her a couple of times. The second time I called, she said to me:

“So… what’s going on between you and Amity?”

“Why? What have you heard?” I snapped at her.

“Uh… nothing…”

“Oh… well, nothing. There’s nothing going on between me and Amity.”

Smooth as fuck… I should have been honest and been cool about it. But I talked to her for another 20 minutes. Of course she would go and ask Amity about it, and Amity would say how I broke her heart or whatever she has.

The next time I called Johanna, she didn’t answer. She never answered again.

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