The Band Camp Effect: The Ultimate Formula For Anonymous Promiscuous Sex – Part Two – Uni Camp
Continued from The Band Camp Effect: The Ultimate Formula For Anonymous Promiscuous Sex – Part One.
Where I’m from, in Newcastle, the uni has Autonomy day. It’s a day to commemorate the university’s freedom from reliance on the oppressive something something – similar to the United States’ Independence Day, but instead of celebrating with fireworks, they celebrate by getting drunk. Instead of blowing shit up, they celebrate by throwing shit up.
In Melbourne, and probably at universities everywhere, there are similar traditions. But in Melbourne, the celebrations go for a whole week, and drinking is considered a sport with various teams and events: hashing – which is where you drink and run a marathon, and drink boat, which is a relay of drinking. Whatever happened to playing “Drink the Beer”? When you win, you get another beer.
When I met this girl, I was getting drunk with her drinking team. Public Bar Hotel, Monday night. $1 pots, $4.50 jugs of Geelong Bitter, the beer voted to taste most like dirty water three years running. Since they sell the beer so cheap, I don’t know how much they buy it for. Probably half a cent for a keg.
The #1 rule at the table was, if you’re at the table, you have to drink. The #2 rule was, when they’re having a sculling competition, you really have to drink. The other rule was that when you got a beer from the jug, you couldn’t pour with the spout. So you either had to pour with the side of the jug, or dip the pot into the jug, punch style. The table and the floor around it was covered in beer.
The girl’s name was X. Not only was she a key member in her drinking team, but she was also a facilitator for uni camp. The Band Camp Effect.
In her role as facilitator, she would organise games for the students, most of which involved copious amounts of alcohol, and nudity.
The uni’s administration (a.k.a. The Man) would love to crack down on the camps. Since they were organised through the uni, technically X was in a teaching role, so she couldn’t be seen to be encouraging binge drinking, nudity, or sex. Which were the three main reasons people went on these camps anyway.
“But what about Nude Rock? You can’t take Nude Rock!”
Nude Rock was a big rock on the shore. If someone needed to be shamed for some reason, they had to take off their clothes and stand on Nude Rock for an hour. No one could see you out there, because it was too far away from camp, but it was a nice way to let someone air their particulars. Nude Rock stayed.
At the induction into the camp, the first-aid officers would give a little speech: “Now we all sometimes have an itch that can’t really be scratched. If you meet a special someone, and you have that itch, you might need to come to me and get a band-aid to cover it up.” You can’t encourage or be seen to condone promiscuous sex. However, you can facilitate it, by handing out hundreds of condoms upon request.
One girl who went to the camp – on the bus there she said to X “My boyfriend said he didn’t mind if I have sex with other people on the camp. He wants me to enjoy it. But I don’t want to cheat on him. I won’t have sex with anyone else.”
She maintained her virtue, for one night. Second night, three vodka cruisers and her knickers flew across the room.
There was this one guy, Stick. X didn’t know what it was about this guy, but he could pull girls like beers. Case in point: Third night of camp. Him and a couple of other guys were having showers. Delilah came in to tell them that the barbeque was ready. Stick heard the voice, opened the stall door and said “Hey. Wanna join?”
She looked him up and down, walked into the stall, and closed the door. The guys threw in a few condoms over the door.
Then when camp was over, the had one more day when the facilitators weren’t technically in their teaching role, so they announced that the students could have a crack. X took an 18 year old boy back to her chalais.
Isn’t it amazing what girls will tell you if you sit back and don’t judge?
Related Posts:
Comments (4)
[...] To be continued. Part 2. [...]
Poetic license is fantastic….
[Reply]
i’m pretty sure this is exactlty how you told it to me. maybe you didnt screw an 18 year old?
[Reply]
was he 19?
[Reply]