Sex…? I’ve heard of that stuff
The first time I had sex, I was twenty years old. I remember all of the times that girls had asked me for sex before that. The first girl I ever made out with, Francesca… I met her at an underage night club. We saw each other on and off for a few months. She called me up one day and she’s like
“I’m bored…”
“Cool, go read a book.”
“No, I mean I’m bored.”
“Oh.”
“Listen…”
“Yeah…?”
“Do you want to have sex with me?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…… maybe.”
I never ended up having sex with her.
There was a few times when I went out to a nightclub and a girl would start rubbing her breasts against my arm. I realised about two weeks later that she was 
hitting on me.
“You know, I really love the way you dance on your own like that! Like, not a lot of guys have the confidence to do that sort of thing!”
“Yeah… thanks… that’s cool. I’m gonna keep dancing.”
She stormed off.
Occasionally I would have the presence to notice that a girl liked me, and the courage to actually kiss her in a nightclub. I would wash my mouth out afterwards and spit into the sink. “OMG I can’t believe I kissed a girl I just knew for five minutes… how shallow and disgusting of me. I feel so dirty.”
Eventually… When I was twenty… There was this thirty two year old bleached blonde girl who I talked to over the net. She was always trying to get me to come and see her. I was like
“…Maybe.”
She was pretty hot, and had double D breasts. She eventually got me to come out of my comfort zone and meet her in Newcastle. I fingered her in a church graveyard. There were churchies wandering around but I think they had an intuition that they shouldn’t come too close in case they see something they didn’t want to saw.
The next time she asked me to come out…
“…Maybe.”
She said she’d pay for lunch. She didn’t want me to pay for lunch… guys expect something if they pay.
“And what do you expect of me?” I said.
“Nothing…”
She went on webcam and took off her shirt. I decided to meet her that Saturday.
I walked into the pharmacy near Maitland train station.
“Ah… do you have condoms?”
The attendant pointed me to the right aisle. Chocolate flavoured ribbed studded small large extra large… Is my cock closer to 52 mm wide or 56 mm wide? I didn’t have a ruler on me. I bought a pack, took them out and stuffed them into my pockets, as I hurried to the train station.
We went to the Hare Krishna restaurant off the mall in Newcastle. The food is really good there. But it’s funny because all the staff are actually Hare Krishnas and theeyyyyy… allll… moooove. ..verryyy… slowwly… wheeeen… serrrrving ….yourrrrr …fooooood.
Eventually we got the food and sat down. Anya wasn’t very interesting. Well, she probably was, but I think she avoided saying anything because she didn’t want to say the wrong thing and mess it up. She always laughed at my jokes, even when I made obscure ones that she didn’t seem to understand.
We got to her place, went to her bedroom and made out. She wouldn’t let me suck her boobies. She was self-conscious about it because she had kids. Plus she had piercings which made playing with them kind of awkward.
I said “I’ve got condoms…”
She said “Good… because I didn’t want to have to go into my sister’s room and say ‘can I please have a condom?’”
She got on top. I lasted about a minute.
The next time she messaged me on the net, she asked if I wanted to come out and see her again.
“…Maybe.”
“Maybe? Maybe? Always maybe!”
She didn’t talk to me much after that. I saw her once with her kids when I was selling charity in Jesmond shopping centre. I waved at her, but she ignored me, must have thought I was just trying to sell her something.
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Comments (4)
man… what a great story… so compelling.
Yeah, I really like the moral of this story. You should be in the bible!
i don’t get you kurt? you seem to be proud of that story….why????
because i lost my virginity LOLz