Las Vegas Sexual Adventures Part Four – Actual Sexual Adventures
Sitting in Aster’s hotel room, typing up a post or something. His iPhone started ringing and he answered it.
“Hello… Oh hi.
“Yeah, I’m actually in Las Vegas at the moment.
“Oh… right.
“Okay, no problem. Good to hear from you. Okay, bye.” He hung up the phone. He turned to me and said “Just got a call about my friend back in England. Thirty-two years old… He’s dead. Nobody knows what happened to him.”
I looked at him blankly. ”Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Can’t feel it really.
“You know it’s funny, when things like that happen, it really puts things into perspective. I almost feel – I don’t want to say ‘inspired’ – but it makes me realise how empty and meaningless it all is. It’s not worth holding back. Thirty-two years old, found dead in his bathtub. What have we got to lose? …Makes me feel like going to talk to some girls.”
Tryst. 11 p.m. Up against the rope.
“Hey!” I said to the hostess. Aster nudged me and whispered “Don’t do that!”
“Did you just ‘hey!’ me?”
“Yep – hey, how are you?”
“Good.”
“Excellent – have you got the guest list? I’m on Mike A’s list. My name’s Jones.”
She checked the list, wandered off and around in circles a few times. At these classy clubs I’m never sure if the hosts are really that busy, or they just like to pretend they’re busy so they can feel important. At the end of the rope, there’s one host standing there making an important phone call, or talking to his watch. The other three or four are standing there watching them intently, and ignoring me.
Aster said “You can’t holler at them like that – even Spesh just waits till they notice him.”
“Really? That sounds pretty backwards to me. Why should I supplicate to some club promo dude?”
“I don’t know. He basically said to supplicate them out the arse.”
The hostess came back, let us through the rope. But she refused to let me sign the list, which Mike had told me to do (so he gets credit), and refused to give me a yellow slip (which meant we had to pay $30 cover each). But what the hey. At least we skipped the line.
Standing at the top of the stairs, waiting for a phone call. A couple of girls danced down the stairs while I watched them. Retard wave. They didn’t notice.
Aster said “Hey that chick would be good for you – she’s got huge tits.”
I said “You’re right – Hey girls!”
“Heyyyyyyy! We’re going in – we’ll see you in there!”
Took the call, went down, pay cover, get stamp, walk in, pause for fourteen seconds. Creanza with the large breasts ran at me, jumped on me, wrapped her arms around me, wrapped her legs around me, got dipped and kissed on the cheek by me.
Now, this sort of thing doesn’t really phase me. It happens often enough that I accept it as normal. However, three metres away, her friend Kallista gave an extremely puzzled look.
“So… you two know each other?”
“Sure, I was talking to you guys before on the stairs!”
“Right. So, other than that, you don’t know each other?”
“Well, no.”
“Okay…”
I hung out with Creanza pretty much the whole night. Danced with her, told her she was going to be my Vegas girlfriend. Seemed like it was getting too much cherish at one stage so I started slipping in some sexual innuendos, anything this side of “Hey, I want to have sex with you”. Not that that is technically a sexual innuendo, but it works for me some times.
Near the end of the night, Creanza was saying something about her friends blah blah blah. I thought, great – we’ve been screwed over a million times by friends in Vegas so far. They were thinking of going. I said “Hey you trust me to look after Creanza, right?” They stood solemnly and shook their heads.
I kept seeding a thought with Creanza though: “I’m really hungry – we have to go to a diner and get something to eat later.”
“But I’m not hungry!”
“Who cares. I am, and you have to come with me – you’re supposed to be my Vegas girlfriend.”
“Hm… good point!”
When it came down to it, I was standing in the taxi line with my Vegas girlfriend and her two friends. The doorman said “How many?”
Kallista said “Four.”
I said “No, we’re going to get something to eat.”
Kallista said “Okay… two,” then to Creanza ” – are you sure you’ll be okay?”
“Yep.”
“Okay – text me.”
And then I dragged her off, had a few drinks with her at a circle bar at Wynn, then said “It’s time to go.” And it was.
As for Aster, the next morning, he woke up suddenly. I don’t know exactly how it went, but I get the feeling it went something like this:
“Arrgh! Where am I?” said the girl who was lying next to him.
“You’re in my hotel room.”
“What? Where is that? Who are you?”
“Just off the Strip.” Then he would start trying to make out with her again, touching her elbows or something.
It was kind of like the time I took a girl back to her place, in Richmond, near the Precinct. I knew she was really drunk, but she told me how Irish she was, and that drinking a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of vodka in one night was really nothing – her parents were both alcoholics after all. Then in the morning, I tried for round two. She said “I can’t have sex with a total stranger!”
I asked my mentor Alex about it. He said not to worry about it, because no girl would have sex with a guy that she didn’t want to have sex with, regardless of how drunk she was - just like I wouldn’t have sex with a guy no matter how drunk I was. Though, on program, he teaches that, from a moral perspective, it’s fine to hook up with a girl that’s really wasted as long as you’re wasted too. And Aster certainly fulfilled that criteria.
Continued – Las Vegas Non Sexual Adventures Part Five – Twenty Dollars To Not Beat Your Face In.
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