Schadenfreude
I was a lot younger. I must have been about 20… probably 19. I wasn’t doing much with my life at that stage. Luke had this girl that was hitting on him at tafe, constantly. So somehow he palmed her off on to me. I didn’t mind, I was desperate, and lonely. And she was actually pretty hot. Her name was Rafaela.
We only saw each other like two or three times. First time she kept trying to talk me into sex. She wouldn’t let me suck her boobies because “it feels like i’m breastfeeding”. Whatever.
I was a virgin and I didn’t want to give away my “v card” so easily. Nowadays… I probably would have fucked her brains out and never called her again. Fuck, I really am turning into Jim.
She sent me this email and she’s like “you know, I think we’re having something deeper than a physical connection… like we’re relating on a spiritual level”. To me, the underlying meaning of the interaction was that we should be doing that to begin with. Kind of showed the difference in values. She was after sex. I wanted… something else. She wanted me to fuck her brains out.
If I’d have fucked her, then I could have kept her around longer.
She came over one day when my parents were out. Actually, the first time she came over… we were hanging out for a while. Then she said she had to use the toilet. I said fine, just make sure you turn the toilet tap on before you flush, because this toilet is a bit funny. She started wigging out “What??? How confusing??? I don’t understand this! I’m just going to go home and use my toilet.”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous. If you really can’t stand to use that toilet, just use my parents’ en suite.”
“WHAT? I can’t use your parents’ toilet! That would be inappropriate!”
“Huh?? It’s just a toilet. Really, they wouldn’t care.”
It took about five minutes convincing before she would use the toilet instead of going home to use her own familiar toilet.
She was my age, chronologically. Mentally… that’s another story.
The next time she came over, we hung out in my bedroom and I played her some albums. She took off her shirt and sat on my bed while I played with her boobies. Nice. She sucked my cock.
Kinda expected my first blowjob to actually be… pleasurable. I mean, it wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t really stimulating. “How long will it take you to come?”
“Ah… I’m not going to come if you do it like that.”
“What? How about this? Mmmmrgmbmm.”
I didn’t come from that so I jerked off and she swallowed my load. That was pretty cool.
Afterwards I said “hm… not really what I expected.”
“What? That’s a terrible thing to say!”
“Hm? No it isn’t. Come here you sexy biatch.” and I gave her a long hug.
Then she said “Oh no… I hope I haven’t…” and there was a bloodstain on the bed where she’d been sitting. I laughed. She hadn’t even taken off her pants. Her period had bled right through.
“Oh no… I’m so sorry! I have to get a tampon… I’ll have to go home and get a tampon.”
And she left.
The next time I talked to her, it was on the net. I messaged her and I’m like “hey what’s up.”
“nothing…”
“hey you’re not still weird about what happened the other day are you?”
“no but i told all my friends what you said and they think you’re an asshole!”
“huh? hahah you’re kidding right?”
“no i’m serious. you shouldn’t have said to me that i didn’t live up to your expectations. you can’t say that to me!”
“that’s not really what i meant…”
She’d gone and misquoted me to her friends, and they’d gone crazy, misquoting me back until I must have said something like “Bitch. That was a shit blowjob. What the fuck is wrong with you? you need to learn to suck dick.”
“i’m not perfect! we’re through!”
“wait wait wait, listen to me”
Then she went offline. Her friends were just as immature, impulsive and crazy. Once when she was signed into MSN, sitting on my lap, we were messing around saying stupid shit to her friends. We stopped talking to one for like a minute, and she messaged back saying
“o i c how it is, u’ve got a bf now so u’ve got no time 4 ur old friends. it happens all the time i understand. well just dn’t come running back when he leaves you!” and blocked her.
These were learning timez.
Anyway I think I ended up talking to her and figuring it out. Maybe we saw each other another time… Then she didnt email me for a few days or something, kind of dropped off the radar. I was like hm curious. I rang her place and her dad answered.
“Yes?” he said… “yes?” sounds like “fuck you”
“hi… uh… Rafaela? Is Rafaela there?”
“No, she’s not.”… sounds like “fuck you”
“well uh… where is she?”
“I do not wish to answer that question, and I would prefer it if you didn’t inquire in this manner in the future” sounds a lot like “fuck you in the arse with a rusty screwdriver”
“uhh… well uhh… okay… good day”
“Good bye.” sounds like “fuck you and i’ll wipe the cum in your hair”
Nowadays, maybe I would have given him a piece of my mind. Nowadays, I probably would have demanded more respect from the onset. Then, it intimidated me. It got me boiling on the inside. Afraid and angry. I can even feel it now, but just the anger. What a rude son of a bitch.
When Rafaela came over and met my parents, she said how nice they were. She said her parents are nice too… “once you get to know them”. Her dad was really nice.
I’ve known girls that have been physically abused by their fathers, their arms stuck in the fire for talking back. These girls still love their daddy. Fuck it.
I sent Rafaela an email. Something something. She replied, that day. She’d gone off with some guy to Forster, probably got fucked several times. Left without saying shit to me. At the time I probably thought I did something to offend her “oh what have I done wrong please baby forgive me”. Well, I never did beg for forgiveness. I didn’t realise then that young girls follow their snatch as much as young boys follow their dicks. Is that really true? It was true for her.
I wrote back. At this stage, it wasn’t even about the girl any more. I was pissed off about her dad. I would summon up all the demons from my past to take this man, whose presence offended me so much. I cursed him.
I typed:
“you know what. a man like your father… he’s an uptight guy. he’s got a lot of energy running through his brain, a little too much tension. A guy like your father, he’s sort of like a light globe with too much voltage. Now, it might survive for a while… but you know what’s going to happen. Without turning down that voltage… it’s gonna go ‘pop!’. Just like that. All that extra voltage, running through his heart… pop!
“and it’s over.”
I didn’t talk to her much after that.
Until… years later. She messaged me on the net. “how have you been great to speak to you blah blah blah”
I asked where she was living. Was she still living with her parents? Etc.
“Parent. Dad died about a year ago, from a heart attack. I’m just living with mum and my brother at the moment, i’m back from uni”
i’m like “oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” but inside… Schadenfreude. Kind of felt like I should feel bad… but I didn’t. And I still don’t. I’m not sorry.
Sometimes I tell people this story and they’re like “yeah… well, you don’t have to feel bad, that’s just the way it is. He was an uptight arsehole and he died from it”
But it’s not like I could say “Gee, I never wanted for this to happen…”. Really, I wished death on this man, and he died. And that’s the end of that chapter.
He deserved it.
She probably got what she deserved too, a deep dicking.
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Comments (11)
‘Mmmmrgmbmm.’
Haha, love it.
a super duper deep dicking!, i’m glad it was u and not me that got that terrible blow job.
i knew that girl for a while and had no idea she was such a dick, that’s wat getting to know ppl is all about!.
yeah, that’s what life is all about… blowjobs.
seeing as girls think with their snatches/boxes as much as boys think with their cocks does that go for boys and girls or is it limited?
what the fuck does that mean
if life is all about blow jobs it fucking means that girls want “blow jobs” just as much as boys do…..
that’s deep… as in deepthroat
slurp…gargle…swallow….
I can’t believe you killed that guy with your mind
i actually know a chick who constantly wants her box licked
kurts mum