Trouble In A Bubble.

New Year’s Eve Handjob In Public vs The Midget Of Doom

We got into town at about 10:30. People were swarming at Fed Square so the tram couldn’t get through. I called Age to see what’s gwanin’.

“Hey man. Where are you?”

“Notttt muccch man! WHat’s goin’ on!?”

“Age, are you high?”

“NAaah man. I’ve just had two beers and I’m on antibiotics!” He’s half-Chinese as well.  Maybe that has something to do with it.  Then he said off the phone “Hey is it cool if my friends come over? They’re not bogan.

“Yeah you guys should come here. It’s on such and such a street. Call me when you’re outside Thingamijig.”

We went to Age’s friend’s place. Age’s friend is hot. Contender for Miss Thailand.

“Hey guys. I’m Fantasia. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Jones; this is Gandalf.”

“Hey. I’m going now. You guys can chill here if you like. Age, just make sure you close the balcony and turn the lights off.”

Then she left.  This is weird. We helped ourselves to some warm white wine, served in tall glasses.  Tasted awful.  She gets it sent to her every week; I guess it’s in case she actually becomes Miss Thailand – the winery can say she drinks it.

Fantasia lived in a five star apartment in the city.  Big place that cost about $450 a week.  She’d broken up with her ex as soon as they moved in there, but because he’d signed the lease, and she’d threatened to sue, he still had to pay half the rent.  Sweet deal, in a way.

We stayed there for an hour.  Age couldn’t come out with us, he was spending New Year’s with his best friend Antonio, who is only 17.

A few weeks before that, Age had gotten it on with one of Antonio’s friends, a 16 year old hottie.  He took her up to the bedroom, and she started to go down on him.  Two seconds of having his dick in her mouth, she pulled it out and said “Dude.  You really need to take a shower.”  That was the end of that chapter.  Did wonders for Age’s sexual anxiety.

Somehow it got to about 11:30.  Gandalf and I still weren’t inside a bar.  Ghost always told me about this place called Fashion Keyboard.  I’d seen the signs up saying “F’N Board and broke on NYE?  Come to Fashion Keyboard.”  But I didn’t know the address.  I had to duck inside a convenience store, use the Internet and extract the address.  Then we ran down Lonsdale Street, going exactly the wrong way.  We turned around and found the place, ten minutes to midnight.  Got inside.  Got a drink.  Counted down to midnight.  Perfect timing.

This cute brunette chubby girl walked past me at the bar.  Time for your best stuff Jones.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” said she.

“I have a problem.”

“What’s that?”

“When the clock struck midnight I didn’t have anyone to kiss.”

“Really?”

“Really.”  Make out time.

“Gee.  You’re really friendly,” I said.

“Ah.  I’m not normally like this…” Qualifying.

I talked with Denise for ages.  She was a big girl with a big personality.  Great tits.  I kept talking all this explicit stuff to her about how I was going to fuck her.

She had a little blonde friend that kept running around.  Making out with a couple of dudes.  Making out with a gay dude.  It must be the oldest trick in the book, pretending you’re gay so chicks hit on you.  But this dude actually looked gay, and Midget was all over him like faux fur.

Making out with Denise and her arse is hanging off the back of the stool that she’s sitting on.  We’re in a corner near the booths.  I slip my hand up her skirt and down her panties and start fingering her from behind.  I think, damn, I hope I got the right hole because it’s hard to tell from this angle.

Twenty minutes later we were sitting in the corner of the booth.  Gandalf was sitting about thirty centimetres away from me, on my right.  Some random dude and some random chick were sitting across from me.

I’m still talking to Denise telling how I’m going to fuck her and shit.  I undo the button on my pants and guide her hand down my pants.  She doesn’t just stick her hand down my pants.  She undoes the zip and my belt, and pulls my cock out and starts giving me a handjob while still making out with me.

Gandalf turns to me, totally oblivious that I’m getting a handjob, and says “I think I’m going to get a beer,” and walks off.

He said to me later “No way dude.  You couldn’t have been getting a handjob.  I would have noticed.”

I said nothing.

“It must have been a short handjob, like five seconds.”

“She was going for a good ten minutes.  I was getting self-conscious that I was going to blow a load onto the table and get it in the cup like Stifler’s beer.”

“Goddamn.  I can’t believe I was sitting right there while you were getting a handjob.  That’s gross.”

After I put my dick away, we were sitting on the seats next to the dancefloor.  Midget transformed into Midget of Doom.  She kept taking Denise’s hand and leading her off.  Denise would take my hand and lead me to wherever they were going.  Midget of Doom would see that I’d followed them, and take Denise’s hand and lead her to somewhere else.  So I introduced myself to her, and she said something eloquent such as “Fuck off!”

I said “Excuse me?”

“FUCK OFF I’M DANCING WITH MY FRIEND!  DON’T MAKE ME MAKE A SCENE.”

“Hey, listen to me!  I’ve been talking to your friend for two hours, and what you are doing is just plain rude!”

After that, every time Denise would come over and start confessing her undying love for me, she would get a text from Midget saying “get away from boy”.

Gandalf said to me “Don’t worry – I’ll help you out.  I’ll be your wingman.  I’ll go in there and deal with the friend.”

Gandalf walks over.  Says something to Midget of Doom.  Midget of Doom says something back.  Gandalf says “BITCH, YOU ARE A FUCKING BITCH!”

She said to him “Oh look there’s the bouncers over there!”

“Who gives a shit where the bouncers are?? You’re a bitch!”

Gandalf came back over and I said “Nice work dude.  I would have done the same thing.”

Denise kept coming up to me and saying that she really liked me and sorry about my friend and give me a call and I don’t mind if you hook up with as many girls as you like tonight.  And that she really liked me, and she was sorry about her friend, and to give her a call, and she really didn’t mind if I hooked up with other girls that night.

Then she went up to Gandalf and told him to tell the same thing to me.

When Fashion Keyboard closed, we ended up at Pony.

Denise never answered my calls.

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts