Get The Fuck Out Of Here Lucia
“Hey I just got a missed call from this number, was wondering who -”
“Jones! It’s Lucia!”
“Oh… hey.”
“Yeah! I was just calling because I’m coming down to Melbourne soon. Anderson asked me… well, he didn’t really ask me. But he wanted to know if you’d gotten the key cut yet.”
“Oh yeah. Where are you staying?”
“Uh. Gee. I don’t know. Somewhere near you I guess.”
“There’s the nunnery on… Spring St I think. Little hostel, pretty nice.”
“Oh yeah. Cool… I hadn’t really thought about it. Actually I was thinking we could stay with you.”
“Anderson can stay.”
“Oh… right… Well I guess it is only a one bedroom place… not a whole lot of space.”
“Uh yeah.”
“Anyway, we should be coming down… Oh I shouldn’t tell you when. It’s a surprise!”
“Okay.”
“Well… I’ll speak to you soon.”
“Okay.”
“Bye…”
“Bye.”
I didn’t want to see Lucia. I didn’t even want to think of her. But the thought persisted, along with a dull feeling of low lying malaise and irritation.
I hate that after all this time, I still get an emotional reaction to her. It really makes no sense. The rest of my exes, it’s fine. I’m friends with most of them.
I think I told Lucia long ago that we couldn’t be friends, not for a long time, perhaps not forever. I saw what she was really like, and I knew that I couldn’t depend on her. How could I be friends with someone that let me down so thoroughly and completely? How could I be friends with someone that let herself down so often. Except… maybe I didn’t tell her that. Perhaps I just threw it around in my mind a thousand times.
I walked up the stairs and opened the door. I turned on my computer and messaged Anderson.
“i got that key cut”
“huh? you what?”
“that key… you know, so you can stay here”
He pasted an extract of his conversation with Lucia. She’d told him that I hadn’t got the key cut.
Five seconds later, I got a phone call.
“Hey it’s me again. Let me get this straight – did you get a key cut?”
“Yes I did.”
“Oh okay. Cool. Well I’ll see you in a few days or a few weeks or a few months or a few years!”
I thought maybe that meant she’d taken the hint that I didn’t want to see her. Actually she was just playing up the surprise angle.
“Alright… Bye.”
I messaged Anderson.
“i don’t really want to see her”
“really… oh. i guess i assumed the opposite. well, we both assumed the opposite…”
“is that bad?”
“i dunno”
Lucia came online and messaged me.
“hey again. i guess i should look for accomodation. it’ll be great to see you again 
”
“i don’t want to see you”
“..oh. .
“i guess i’ll get a refund then”
“huh? you were coming down just to see me?”
“well… yeah… as a friend of course”
Pause.
“i thought because you called me and we had that great conversation…
“i’ve been looking forward to this for weeks”
“well, good for you.”
“you don’t have to be mean about it”
“hm? what did i say?”
“you were just being mean.”
The phone rang. It was her. Mos Def and Busta Rhymez came through my phone speakers… I like that song… No harm in listening to it again. I didn’t answer it.
“ignoring my phone calls now huh? 
”
“i like listening to the ringtone”
“listen… i wanted to come down to melbourne just to see you. i wasn’t doing it just to come to melbourne.”
“okay”
“well i thought it would make a difference since i was making the effort to see you. i thought you would make a little effort at least.”
About three years too late.
“why won’t you say something?
“why do i get the feeling that this is going to be our last conversation?”
“i don’t know. i didn’t say that.”
“i was really excited about this…”
I remember my parents telling me a story about a man coming to sell them a Kirby vacuum cleaner, under the pretense that he was coming to give them a free carpet clean.
“Don’t you want to see the sales presentation?”
“Naaah, no thanks. We’ll just have the carpet cleaning.”
He got flustered. “If I sell ten vacuum cleaners, I get a free trip to Bali. Don’t you want me to get a free trip to Bali??”
“We don’t really care. Just clean the carpets please.”
A bad salesman will talk about his intentions and motivations as his last resort. The worst salesman will use them as his entire pitch.
“i was really excited about seeing you…”
“that’s nice.”
The other week she messaged me and she said “oh i’m so looking forward to coming to melbourne. it’ll be great to see you again! you can show me around melbourne and stuff.”
“yeah, and we can have sex”
“haha piss off.”
“what.”
“oh you were serious. no i’m not going to have sex with you.”
“why the hell not”
“because we tried it once and it didn’t work out why complicate things? plus i think your brother has a crush on me, it’d hurt him.”
“yes… i agree. you are gay.”
“haha”
That pissed me off. Not just that she said she didn’t want to have sex with me. I mean let’s be honest. If she flew 800 km to see me, just to hang out with me… getting all excited about it for weeks… She, in all likelihood, would be willing to have sex with me. But also, the thing about not wanting to sleep with me because Anderson has a crush on her. Well fair enough. However, that would be a reason for me to consider, not her. She’d forgone her right to be moral about that.
One morning, a couple of months after we broke up, when I went out into my parents’ kitchen and they came out of Anderson’s room together, after sleeping in the same bed. They didn’t have sex, but they were intimate. Ridiculous.
Other than that… it just made me think, well, why the hell would I want to see her if not to have sex?
Thinking music. Do doo Do doo Do do dadadada Do doo…
No fucking reason at all.
Get the fuck out of here Lucia.
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Comments (4)
ouch…..I hope direct as fuck campaign is going better than that!!!
wat a shit…. leading your brother on as well is kind of fucked up, weird, i gotta talk to u about this one.
i want a name to
who do you want to be? don octavio de flores?