Direct as Fuck
“Hey Kurt, go tell that girl she has great tits.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Say she has nice tits!”
I look over and she’s talking to her friends.
“…I’ll do it later… actually, no, fuck it.”
Just then she turns away from her friends. I tap her on the shoulder. She looks over.
“Hey. You have really nice breasts.”
“Oh thank you!”
Blown right open. I kissed her, didn’t end up pulling her. But I’m still kind of amazed that I could get that far with a pick-up line like that.
Last night I grabbed Age and said “Yo let’s go do dancefloor”
“I can’t I’m wearing a trenchcoat…”
“Alright, stop being a bitch and then we’ll go do dancefloor.”
He stopped pretty quickly, so we went to the dancefloor. This blonde English girl walks past me and i grab her.
“HEY WHAT’S UP I’M KURT”
“…hi i’m denise”
“REES?”
“no denise”
“OH COOL.”
“yes but i have asdijdfjianknvincinein”
“YEAH… OK BUT ONLY IF WE USE PROTECTION.”
“no i said… fjdivbnanienrn”
“LET’S GO OVER HERE COME MEET MY FRIENDS”
I brought her over and sat down next to Aster and his girl.
I was talking to her for about five minutes and she said “So where do you live?”
“Around the corner. Want to come over? We can have sex.”
“Gee… you’re so forward!”
“Yeah… well I wouldn’t want you to think that I want to be friends with you or some shit. Really I just want to have sex with you. So what’s your number?”
“Oh… let me go through my phone to find it.”
Direct as fuck. Not like it’s a “technique” to get laid or whatever. But I’m just fascinated that I can be so honest, and girls will just accept it as long as I’m cool with it. If they like me, they’re taking whatever I’m throwing down. I have to do some further research on this.
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Comments (12)
It’s not a fucking trench coat motherfucker, what do you think I am, some sort of fag?
No rainbow man.
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kurt wears trench coats in the middle of summer on his midnight strolls….
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i’ve never worn a trenchcoat in my life. as for yours… it’s an inspector gadget trenchcoat
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fuck yeah, go go gadget fist!, i never take it off
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nothing can be more direct as fuck…. fuck is a very direct thing
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Just tryin’ to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick -
Duh Da Duh Da Duh Duh, Go go gadget dick!
Whipped that shit out, and ain’t no doubt about it
It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage
well you know. i want to work on a technique where i can just walk up to a girl and say a few words and she orgasms on the spot. i’d call it the orgasmopocalypse opener
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Me and my friend’s developed that technique a while ago. Imagine you’re like Goku or someone from Dragon Ball, walk up to a girl, hold out your tensed palm like you’re about to fireball her, aim it at her vadge and yell out ‘COOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!’
So far it’s worked 0 times.
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it’s probably because u stood around for about 3-4 hours talking about each others power levels and saying each others names like your constipated
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ooh.. burn
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hey, what’s wrong with fagosexuals?
they’ve got as much right to be in the sexosphere as you
this is about the front page and not the post, but you know, whatever
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just as long as my sexosphere doesn’t collide with their sexosphere. it would be like the same matter occupying the same space at the same time… could cause a time paradox and make my dick collapse in on itself
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[...] As if I wasn’t being obvious enough. “No reason,” I said. I guess this was before I invented “Direct As Fuck Method“. [...]