Constantina, Antarctica
I walked up to the bar, singing along to “April Sun in Cuba”
“Take me to the Safeway get some tuna… woh oh oh…”
I’m standing there and Lana behind the bar is shaking her head at me again.
“On the hard stuff again huh?”
She thinks I’m on drugs because I always order water.
There’s a girl standing behind me, flirting with an Indian.
“Now, what’s my name?”
“Constantina!”
“Yay!” and she gives him a hug.
There’s a long build up of random jocks and dudes in suits at the bar… Constantina puts both of her hands on my arse.
“Hey… a little too familiar there.”
“I’m sorry… it’s just you have a really great arse… and god you’re cute!”
“Heh thanks.” Does this sort of thing happen? Yeah… I guess it’s normal enough.
Within ten seconds I’m making out with her.
She says “Hey, I need a drink.”
“Cool – what do you have?”
“Chiraz.”
“Cool, mine’s a glass of water.” And I push her to the front of the bar.
“Wait… you have to pay!”
“I’ll pay, if you have sex with me.”
“Can’t we just be friends?”
“Friends? hahaha” I grab her and make out with her.
She’s grinding up against my dick. This girl is crazy.
“Wait wait, you’re moving too quick.” I say “I’m really deep and stuff. We should go out the front and chat.”
“Yes we should. But first let me get a drink.”
She orders the drinks and the bartender brings them to us.
She looks at my Che shirt “Hey… you’re not actually from Cuba are you? If you are, maybe I should pay.”
I think fuck it, and hand the bartender a ten dollar note.
Five minutes later, we’re sitting out the front in the smoking court. She reckons she’s lost her friend Amber – Amber’s gone off with some guy, maybe went home with him.
“She promised she wouldn’t leave me here. I left my car at her place. Isn’t that terrible?” And makes a mocking sad face.
“You know… isn’t it funny how the banana nana nana nana?” Bananas.
“Isn’t it funny how guys get lead around by their banana?” She says.
“What the fuck are you talking about, bananas?”
“You know – bananas. You have one don’t you?”
“Sure, bananas. They’re about this long and yellow.”
“Yellow? Yours is yellow? Ew. Is it really that long? Where did you get your banana?”
“I got it from my mama”
She starts singing “I got it from my mam, I got it from my mam.”
“You are so crazy. You are such a player.”
This girl is so out of control. She is gaming me.
Her friend Amber comes up and introduces herself as Cate.
“OH! You’re here! I thought you went off with that guy!”
“No, come on, I wouldn’t leave you hon.”
And they give each other a friendly kiss. Then they give each other a really friendly kiss. Then Amber-Cate is on top of Constantina, giving her an extremely friendly kiss. The glam type girls sitting across from us say “I’m wigging out…” The alpha chodes on the other side of the smoking court start cheering “Woo! YEAH GIVE US A SHOW!”
I chuckle to myself.
Amber-Cate sits down and I take Constantina and make out with her. The alpha chodes give me a cry of glory.
The glam girls stare in bewilderment. Constantina says “Woo! Fuck all people who hate lesbians!”
The glam girls get really offended “What the fuck? Who are you saying that to? Who are you referring to with that statement???”
“AH! No one. Society! Isn’t it funny how society hates lesbians LOL”
“What the fuck! Who the fuck are you referring to? What are you talking about?”
“Society! LOL!”
“What?”
“Society! LOL!”
“What? If you’re talking about me, I have friends that are lesbians. You should think before you judge. Blah blah blah.”
At one point it looked like there was going to be a catfight. I started getting bored, annoyed with this bratty behaviour. I thought maybe it was time to find some more girls.
“No, it’s just so funny because we’re from the country… we’re country bumpkins! We come into the city and find people that are closed-minded.” said Constantina.
“I’m from Bendigo!” says Wigging Glam.
“I’m from Wherever In the Middle of Victoria!” says Hypewoman Glam.
“Really?? You guys are cool then! I’m from Somewhere!” says Constantina.
And all of a sudden they’re all talking like old friends.
Constantina turns to me and says “Did you see that? I totally fixed that. I fixed it right up. I should be a… what do you call it? A person who fixes stuff like that?”
“A mediator.”
“Yeah, like one of those!”
I laughed “But you caused the problem in the first place.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter! Hey, do you have a big penis?”
“It’s okay.”
“Can I feel it?”
“Yeah I guess so.”
The alpha chodes started looking over as she started fiddling with the buttons on my pants. I got nervous.
“Actually… It’s probably not the best place to do this.” She said. “Hey, my drink is empty.” and it sounds like “Buy me another drink.”
I have about $3 on me. Of course, I could get more from an ATM but let’s face it, that’s not going to happen. If I had been present, I would have realised that by all rights it’s her round.
“Well, I don’t have any more money.”
“Yeah… I think you should go now.” She turned away, went cold. Constantina, Antarctica.
I stared at her in disgust and disbelief for about thirty seconds.
“You’re right. I THINK I SHOULD GO NOW.”
Now as much as I like to pretend that I told her off by the tone of my voice, and I got the moral high ground, whatever whatever. The fact is… she probably went off and got another five guys to buy her drinks that night. I wonder if you could franchise her operation somehow.
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Comments (2)
i hate it when girls play with my dick in public and it happens every time i go out… i mean it might not be hard
catch ya
[Reply]
Im gonna make a contribution here, but cos I don’t have much to say, i’ll just say one thing:
Fuck bitches get money
….actually nah fuck that
[Reply]