Ever since I blew my $280 bankroll on a pair of aces at the Bellagio – beaten by a pro with two pair fives and sevens – my amateur poker game hasn’t quite made it up to those heights again. I’ve been chasing action by entering $1 + 0.20 tournaments on Pokerstars.

I’ve come up with a basic strategy for these tournaments: win a lot of pots, and get a lot of chips. Play really tight to begin with. There will be a time, normally in the first 30 minutes. You’ll hit a hand and play it hard. Someone will lose a chunk of their stack to you. Keep betting pre-flop after that. You start to go into state. Your eyes go bright, your pupils dilate. Every single microsecond that someone hesitates – or alternatively bides their time – will reveal to you what they have, what they are. All your experience is combined perfectly in a flash, in this exact moment.

Untouchable.

I had a five thousand chip lead over second place. I got a 2 3 off-suit in the pocket. My intuition told me “You DEFINITELY have to play this hand”. I thought “Okay.” But before it was on me, one player had thrown in 1000 chips, 20 times the blind. Another followed it up with an all-in of 2100. I folded – it wasn’t worth the risk. They turned over their cards. AK suited, and KQ offsuit. I sighed.

Then the flop came out. 6 7 2, a rainbow. I would have made a pair. 4 on the turn. 2 on the river. I sighed again. I would have had trips, and took out the pot. I told Age and he said it was just a coincidence. But I got to the final table with 12 large, a 5000 chip lead on second place, and one of the key reasons I did it was because of those times when I kept my cool, listened to my intuition, and acted on it.

I played A 5, and hit nothing on the flop. There was a queen out there. It was a heads up between me and a fellow who called himself “Mr. Gambino”. I kept betting into him, minimum bet, 200 chips. I was experimenting – I could afford it. He called, and called, and called. He had his pair of queens and took out the pot.

“Idiot. Stooped idiot,” he typed into the chatbox. “Stooped idiot minimum raiser.”

Asshole. You wouldn’t have the balls to say that shit at the casino.

I typed “Who is the idiot. I’m sitting here on 11 large, and you’re on 2.”

“Lucky idiot. Nothing but a luckbox.”

He’s probably trying to put me on tilt. I’m not inclined to it. However, I am inclined to retribution, punishment of bad behaviour, sweet revenge, and Divine Wrath.

“Fish. Idiot. 0% profit guy.” Harsh, but true.

Five minutes later, the blinds went up. I stole a few blinds when I had position, and when I had a feeling. But I had such a large lead, I figured I could afford to play tight. I caught pocket aces, and ended up in heads-up with Mr. Gambino. I hit nothing on the flop. There was a queen out there. I checked. 7 on the turn. I checked. 9 on the river. I checked. He raised 2100, leaving him with only 95 chips left. I re-raised. He called with his last 95 chips.

Of course, he was trying to steal the pot, like I knew he would. I knew that he was trouble – and his hand, was just no good. He had a pair of queens. Donked out.

I typed “Good. I hated that guy.”

He continued to berate me from ghost mode: “Nothing but a lucky idiot with cards. You can’t win.” Some kind of insult… He’s pretty much saying “you only won because you had better cards than me.”

Maybe he would have played pocket aces differently in that situation.

I took out the tournament… and won $10. At least I made more than 0% profit that night.

Of course, the next night I ended up $50 down at my work “friendly” cash game… It’s a learning process.

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace

{ 0 comments }

Anger Management – Girls In Nightclubs Piss Me Off Some Times

June 28, 2009

Friday. Precinct. Standing by the bar outside talking to Aster.
“Yeah man, it was insane,” I said. “She started cracking onto a lesbian in front of her ex-girlfriend, then we went to the Evelyn and she got in a fight with some chick.”
“Sounds like you had a fun night.”
A girl walked over from [...]

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Back to School – All Those Girls You Had A Crush On In High School

June 25, 2009

Some times, I think about how cool it would be to go back to my hometown, find all the girls that I didn’t have a chance with in high school, and fuck them.
I ran into this dude I always see out clubbing. Full natural dude.
“There’s this chick I went to high school with. [...]

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Arthur Kade – The Passion, The Fury. The Bryl Cream.

June 21, 2009

Who is the hottest, sexiest, brilliantest, awesomest, talentedest, up-and-comingest guy in the entire universe right now?
If you guessed me, you’re almost right. The correct answer is Arthur Kade.
“Who?” I hear you ask from the peanut gallery. Arthur Motherfucking Kade, you dimwit, I reply. You need to pay attention to what you’re reading.
Arthur [...]

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Does anybody know a literary agent so I can get my book published quicker?

June 19, 2009

It’s a book about a door-to-door salesman trying to get laid.

Share this article with your friends. Now.

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Landmark Forum – I Wanted A Refund, I Got A Mindfuck

June 18, 2009

“Hello. Landmark Education. This is Alexia, how may I help you?”
“Hi Alexia, how are you?”
“Good. How are you?”
“Good. I’m registered to do the Landmark Forum advanced course next weekend, and I want a refund.”
“Ochay, sure,” there was some sounds of clambering with the phone. “So what makes you think you [...]

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Los Angeles Adventures Part 3 – Ads For Medication In America Are Weird, Venice Beach Is Cool, And So Is Entourage. Legal Action From Strippers Would Be Interesting If It Actually Happened

June 14, 2009

Sitting in Hollywood Hostel, watching TV. An ad comes on.
“I used to have serious problems with asthma. It would stop me doing all the fun things I wanted in life. Every time I wanted to go for a jog or a swim with my friends, I would have to make excuses and [...]

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Los Angeles Adventures Part 2 – A Million Desserts, Some Jaded Actors And Strippers With Their Clothes On

June 12, 2009

“I don’t know – there was something not right about it. It was like she was humouring me,” I said as we walked off Hollywood Boulevard.
“Maybe that’s it,” said Aster, as we walked past a kid’s birthday party with a jumping castle in the front yard.
“I wish – that is one helluva party.”
We got [...]

Share this article with your friends. Now.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • BlinkList
  • StumbleUpon
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • Fark
  • Live
  • MySpace
Read the full article →